Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A to Z of Indian Politics

While in school we are taught a for apple, b for ball and such stuff, the school of politics of India has completely different teaching. Here is how it looks like:

A for Aam Aadmi: India is very diverse country with all major religions, various languages, caste living in one country. But chiefly there are only two set of folks. Aam and Khaas. aam includes 99% of folks of India while khaas includes top business and corporate heads, IAS, IPS and political brass. surely with their families. So since aam aadmi is majority, Indian politics runs of claims of doing wonders for aam aadmi and ending up doing wonders for khaas!

B for Babri Mashjid:

it's very sensitive issue affecting two major religions in India. Hinduism and Islam. But for Indian politics babri is significant issue to divide and get votes. Secular takaat is defined by those who didnt participate in babri and communal are those who did participate.

While this is fading into being no issue with urban masses but it nonetheless continues to form psychic of folks who in reality vote.

C for Caste:

Not significant factor is metros and mega cities, caste is nonetheless a very significant social issue and form basis of votes. Mayawati's social engineering concept and her massive victory showed how caste matters in politics.

D for Delhi:

Its dream of all political parties. Har karam apna karenge ae kurshi tere liye is slogan of all. Now just Indian politicians, a defense expert due to pakistanis and comedian due to Indian, Zaid Hamid also dreams of ruling delhi someday!

E for Election Commissioner:

A person who is not liked by all political parties but are left with no option but to obey his orders!!!!!

F for Farmers:

Farmers committing suicide is blamed on previous government,farmer loan waver is taken credit by all. Sugar cane price becomes issue for which all political parties try to take credit

G for Gandhi:

No. Its not mahatma gandhi. Mahatma gandhi is for 2nd october and international branding. For Indian politics gandhi is indira gandhi, rajeev gandhi, sonia gandhi and rahul gandhi. Ohh i forgot priyanka gandhi, varun gandhi and ofcourse menka gandhi.

If its congress politicians, pledge loyalty to sonia gandhi and rahul gandhi is obligatory. If politician is from other party opposing this Gandhi family is number one thing.

H for Hindi:

Ask raj thakeray and abu azmi, how a language can be made into issue and score political points using that.

I for Industrialization:

For details ask communist on singur issue!

J for Junta:

Faceless community which can be manipulated, divided and used for political mileage.

K for Karunanidhi:

One cannot make government in delhi without his support. UPA has it, NDA had it. Karunanidhi is ingredient without which no political collation recipe seems complete.

L for Lal Krishna Advani:

He dreamt of becoming prime minister but that dream was never realized. Lal krishna advani would be judged in history of modern India who practically polarised the votes by his babri campaign.

Lately he tried to correct his image but he could never succeed in it.But even after retirement he would be part of indian politics being in psychic of Indian voters, specially right wings and minorities.

M for Madam/Mamta/Maya:

Dial M for Indian Politics. Indira gandhi was one big madam of Indian politics and now we have mayawati, mamta and madam sonia gandhi. Indian politics has had femine power which has potential to rule. they are able to be bully at times, they are able to be ruthless at times but largely they're good for running their parties giving one success after additional.

N for Naxals:

Naxals is said to be biggest threat to country. But for political reasons effective counter naxal strategy becomes hard to be formed. Lalu blames communist who blame mamta who blames again communist. So its merry go round and naxals keep on striking.

they're india's taliban. While taliban of pakistan prefer to implement their version of a holy book, naxals prefer to implement their version of holy book known as mao, marx and lenin theories.

O is For Opposition:

A position in parliament which gives license to go for rampage. A position which is not liked to be held by any party and goal remains to get out of this position at all costs.

P is For paisa, power and parliament:

While goal is to strive parliament, the other two Ps are side product of reaching parliament and for some main goal.

Q is For Quitting Party:

Ability to quit party and forming own party is key to political success. But it is able to back fire too. Famous and successful quitters are sharad pawar, mamta banerjee, chandra shekhar and upcoming is raj thackeray.

R is For Regionalization:

Divide and divide and divide. Golden mantra of Indian Politics since eternity. Why only maharathi manoos?. Manoos for every state and win state election, send one or two mps to center, support center government and get job done.

S is For Secularism:

A term which is undefined in Indian politics. While official definition means position that religious belief ought to not influence public and governmental decisions; The related political belief in the separation of religion and state but largely secularism in India is used as term to keep right wing out of government. Often countered by right wing by word calle pseudo secularism.

T is For Terrorism:

Terrorism is not modern phenomena but lately this has seen rise in leaps and bounds. Weak government, strong government, terrorism and religion etc are significant political issues.

U is for Unity under Obligation:

Other name is coalition which is practice of current Indian politics.

V is for Votes:

Vote ka mamla hai dilbar, khalbhali hai brain ke andar. Votes is right given to folks to pass verdict about who would rule them. Votes designed to give power to folks has been nicely used by politicians. Those who understand are lazy enough to vote and other people who vote are lazy enough to understand!

W is for Wealth:

No need to elaborate. In time of recession one business strives.

X is for X-Factor:

This x-factor is unseen factor which has largely remained undefined. Is it charisma or is it in born?. Good speakers but bad implementers or ability to loose memory once elected. Its something in politicians that make them impossible to be ignored, impossible to give up and impossible to remember their election promises.

Y is for Yes Sir/Madam:

The ability to re assure leaders of respective parties about loyalty, about their manner of thinking and in turn being able to survive in highly lucrative career.

Z is for Zero Hour:

An hour designed to raise questions to government and not infamous for absenteeism in parliament.

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